Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Things and whoositswhatsits

So. I have lost 3 lbs. And my 5k is in 11 days. I have realized recently that it's not running a 5k that will be hard for me. I can run that distance easy peezy. It's running it in any sort of decent time that will be the trick. I used to be able to run at a decent pace, but since I've started running again, my hips just aren't cooperating with me. I used to start out slow and pick up speed as I got into my groove. But there is no groove anymore, so I start out slow, and get slower and slower. I'm sure watching me run is like watching the honey pour out of a jar that's been in the fridge. You know. Not very fast like. BUT. I did lose 3 lbs, so I guess running slow is better than not running at all. I am hoping to run my 5k in under 30 minutes. I did a 5k before and it took me about 27 minutes. And I had stopped and waited for my running partner a couple of times, until she finally told me to just go ahead with out her. So anyway. That's that.

Next, I would like to share some of what I've been reading. I strongly encourage you all to read "The Definitive Guide to Stuff White People Like: The Unique Taste of Millions". It was written by a very trendy looking, white hipster. It is very, very funny and sarcastic. And it's an easy read. My kind of book. It lists 150 things and kind of explains (for non-white people) how to use that information to get in good with white people. Some items on this list:

*Making You Feel Bad for Not Going Outside
*Hating Their Parents
*Barack Obama
*Subtitles
*Premium Juice
*Difficult Break Ups
*Plaid
*Portland Oregon
*Having Children in Their Late Thirties

Those were just a few items that made the list. Each item is then explained in a very witty way. One item on the list is "Indie Music". The author explains,

"WARNING: Indie Music is perhaps the most dangerous subject you can discuss with white people. One false move and you will lose their respect and admiration forever. Here are some general rules:

*Bands that have had their songs in an Apple ad are still marginally acceptable
*Bands that have had their songs in ads for other companies are not acceptable
*If you mention a band you like and the white person has heard of it, you lose. They own you. It is essential that you like the most obscure music possible."


Another item is "The Idea of Soccer". Here's what it says about that...

"Many white people will tell you that they are very into soccer. But be careful. It's a trap. If you then attempt to engage them about your favorite soccer team or talk about famous moments in soccer history, you are likely to be met with blank stares. This is because white people don't actually enjoy watching soccer. They just like telling their friends that they are into it. In fact, the main reason white people like soccer is so they can buy a new scarf! As you may or may not know, many soccer teams issue special scarves, and white people cannot get enough of them!"

I don't know if it's just me, but I found this whole freakin' book just absolutely hilarious. I was literally laughing out loud, time after time. It was a great read.

Another one I'm working on right now is "Me Talk Pretty One Day" by Dave Sedaris. It's a collection of short stories that can be crass at times, but it's also quite witty in a rather blunt kind of way. My plan is to next read "The Last Lecture", which I've heard is quite excellent...

Sara had mentioned some time ago that we should do a book club blog or something of the sorts. Since that really never came to fruition, I'm just going to post perhaps a short list of some of the reading I've done recently, and maybe others can do the same so we can find those good books out there!

8 comments:

Nicole said...

Yay on 3 pounds! You lost 'em, I found 'em. (Boo on 3 pounds).

Boone and I love love love Stuff White People Like! It's so freaking funny. Also too, I know David Sedaris can be crass at times, but his books are fantastically funny.

Can I toss a book recommendation out there? Chrysta has already read it, but "The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society" is a great, easy read too. I'm sure you'd like it.

Amen.

Sara K. said...

Yay for 3 pounds, I have at least 10 that I'd like them to meet.

Books, books, books. I love them. I think I have read 20 since Christmas including Nicole's recommended TGLaPPPS. Loved it.

Didja get my box?

Anna@Exasperation said...

I tried Me Talk Pretty and couldn't get past the gayness. I don't have a problem with Gayosity. I love gay people. I have a problem with that being the only thing that defines you. I'd rather someone describe themselves as "A writer with gayness." Don't tell me you're a "Gay writer." (note: I don't think at any point in the book he says he's a "gay writer." He just implies it over and over ad nauseum - it got old. But that's just me. Maybe I'm old and crotchety? Crotchety is a fabulous word.)
And I will be checking out the Stuff book. Because any book that describe the indie scene that well deserves my attention. BTW, have you heard Breathe Owl Breathe yet? They're awesome:) (no, but for real)

Anna@Exasperation said...

Oh, and I refuse to congratulate you on your three pounds. That was supposed to be MY three pounds. Apparently what happened is YOUR three pound got on an express train, destination, "Anna's hind parts." And, just so you know, it arrived on time.

Anna@Exasperation said...

Okay, but for rills. Congrats:)

Christy said...

Congrats on the 3 lbs and you'll rock the 5K ~ Adrenaline is a beautiful thing!

Alyssa said...

Anna,

Yes, Sedaris can't let go of the fact that he's gay, but that theme kind of dissipates for the last 2/3 to 1/2 of the book. It's still present, but not so bluntly. Also, I HAVE heard Breathe Owl Breathe. Therefore, I own you! Sucka! Also, sorry about those three pounds. My bad.

Anna@Exasperation said...

Yeah, but what's your favorite song? HUH?! WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE SONG???????????
Drop and Roll. Duh.