Saturday, January 15, 2011

Coming Soon...

I got a Flip digital video recorder for Christmas, and I have some awesome videos coming soon... Once I figure out how to get them on here. For now, please enjoy the following anecdote!

Background: I signed up for a membership at the Planet Fitness near our new house, a couple months after we moved. I was getting kind of big (with Izzy) at the time, and didn't end up working out very much before I had the baby. So, once I got cleared to start exercising again and went back to Planet Fitness, no one really knew who I was. I think it was assumed by the staff and regulars that I was another New Years Fitness Junkie who had resolved to break with her slothful lifestyle and finally get on that treadmill!

Sooo...I jumped on a treadmill, and started pounding away. A few minutes later one of the staff trainers (a young male) approached me as I was running, and we had the following conversation:

Staff Trainer: Ma'am (ew gross, he actually called me MA'AM and I officially feel old, even though I'm really not) are you having chest pain?

Me: Actually... yeah kinda...

ST: Ok, you need to slow it down, and get off the treadmill immediately. I'm going to get you some water, but you need to stop, and sit down. Ok?

Me: (Confused look???)

ST: Ma'am, please, stop running (and he comes behind my treadmill at this point and tries to push the deceleration button for me)

Me: (finally understanding our miscommunication) OH! NO! Not CHEST pain, but chest pain. I'm not having CHEST pain, really I'm not!

ST: (looking confused now)

Me: No no, see, my chest, I thought you were talking about my chest.

ST: Yes, are you having chest pain?

Me: Not CHEST pain, chest pain...I just had a baby...

ST: (looking more confused... not getting it...)

Me: I'm breastfeeding...


Me: Yeah... sorry... I... preoccupied... baby brain...

ST: No problem ma'am (awkward exit stage left)

Me: (aaaaaaand I'm getting off the treadmill anyway to go home and hide my shame and embarrassment in a gallon of ice cream, except I still can't eat ice cream because Izzy can't stop farting (yeah, I said it, mom) so I'll bury my face in rice cakes instead)

SO. THE QUESTION IS: How did he come to think I was having CHEST pain in the first place? I figured it out the next time I went to the gym, and realized that while I was running, I unconsciously was holding my boobs down with one arm while I was running, which I'm sure looked like I was clutching at my chest in CHEST PAIN! ACK!