Five

1. So, I ran my 5k last weekend! It was on Saturday, in Mechanicsburg. I finished in 29:32. It was slower than I was hoping, but faster than my overall goal of 30:00. So, I'll take it. I couldn't have done it without my friend, Darin. We didn't really train together, because to be honest I didn't really train that regularly. But. She really pushed me for the first two miles. I have absolutely NO internal clock to know how fast I'm running, so I just stuck with her. She took off for the third mile and smoked me, but she set me on a pace to get in under 30:00, so THANKS DARIN for helping me hit my goal! By the way. Darin is a woman. Not a man.

My next goal is a 10k, because I think I can hack it once I get into regular training, now that the weather is nicer and I can get outside more regularly, instead of waiting for someone to babysit while I go to the gym (which isn't frequent). Darin and I also sort of maybe talked about doing a triathlon at the end of August. I haven't committed to anything because I don't like swimming. Actually, swimming is ok. I'm just not keen on drowning. Which is the more likely outcome of me trying to swim with other people in a 5 foot radius of where I'm swimming. Anyway. I also have a fear of swimming in water, when I can't see the bottom. So, Darin said she found a race put on by a YMCA, where the swimming would be in a POOL...so hopefully I can work up to that one.

2. Oh Kelty, how I love you. Kelty is my new jogging stroller! It came in the mail on Tuesday. Chrysta did a lot of leg work in helping me find the perfect jogging stroller for ME, so THANKS CHRYSTA! I didn't think to take a picture of it yet, but I will in a future post. This will also assist me in getting into a more regular training routine.

3. Emma is 5 months old! Holy cow! She's getting so big and awesome in general. She can sit up on her own for several seconds at a time. She's really good at balancing herself forward and backward, and is getting better balancing side to side. She's figured out how to catch herself with her hands if she starts falling, too. She just impresses me everyday with how strong and coordinated she is! She is also very good at grabbing this little ball I have, and throwing it! Pretty far, I must say! She's also had her eye on Bird's volleyball the past few days...She IS her mothers daughter!

4. Tooth! Emma has cut her first tooth! She's been showing signs of teething on and off for the last two months or so, and she finally cut her tooth today! She took it like a champ! It's so cute, she keeps sucking in her lower lip and kind of playing with her tooth...and she'll rub her tongue against it...she's so freakin' cute.

5. Mike's been gone this week. He's in Pittsburgh for training, so I've been at mom and dad's in Lebtown all week. We miss him. It's really cute, because he's so worried that Emma will forget him, that he made me promise to show her pictures of him every day! Of course she misses him, and so do I. But in the meantime, it's been fun hanging out with Dad and Bird (mom left for AZ yesterday morning...). Today is Bird's birthday... HAPPY 24th! She and I went bowling with her friend Shay on Monday night. Those girls are silly. And I got some awesome footage of Bird dancing on the lanes!

So those are my 5 for now.

Further Evidence

Here, people, is further evidence that Emma is so beautiful that the people who mistake her for a boy are stupid. Read my last post if you have no idea what I'm talking about.


I can get toys out of my toy basket all by myself!

I like to cooooooo

And I like to blow spit bubbles!

And I'm just freakin' cute!

(Notice that I FINALLY CAUGHT SMILES WITH MY CAMERA! WOOT WOOT!)

Oh my

I hate driving. Wait, I like driving. It's TRAFFIC that I hate. On Saturday Emma and I drove to Shippensburg to hang out with Mike at his track meet. So, we're on 81 S and I am in the left lane trying to pass a slow moving tractor trailer. The car in front of me starts swerving. What the heck is going on?? Her head keeps bobbing up and down. Up and down. Up and down. I'm thinking... is she having a stroke or a heart attack? As she approaches the rear end of the tractor trailer in the right lane, she starts to veer into the right lane, and is maybe a foot or two from running right into it while her head is down, so I lay on the horn. She looks up, quickly jerks to the left and avoids the tractor trailer. That's when I see her pop open her cell phone. And then she takes her other hand off the wheel, and GIVES ME THE FINGER.

Are you serious?

Later on this same trip, I approached a HUGE back up of traffic, and was pretty sure an accident had occurred up ahead. After sitting in standstill traffic for 15 minutes, things started moving again. Then I saw it. Up on the right, two police cruisers had pulled over a car, and were searching it. THAT'S IT. And about four cars in front of me there was OPEN SPACE. The lead car was almost at a dead stop, just rubbernecking to get a good look at the car, and the guy on the hood of the police cruiser. Seriously people. Rubbernecking pisses me off like nothing else. There was absolutely NO REASON for the stand still traffic, other than people just being stupid.

Also what makes me angry: People saying that Emma looks like a boy. I really just don't see any boy-ish qualities in her. Maybe I am biased, but she is just too pretty to be a boy. And also, I get really irritated when people comment that it's because SHE DOESN'T HAVE HAIR. Is she the first five month old to not have hair?? Really?? Also. She wears pink a lot. I find that it's especially insulting when people say "Oh, what's his name??" when she's WEARING PINK. I know this is an age of metrosexuality, and that "tough guys wear pink"...but seriously pink pants and a ruffley pink shirt and a bow? And you still think it's a boy? You're stupid.

Also, too. A casual acquaintance found my blog somehow and decided to tell me that she couldn't read it anymore because I used the English language so poorly. She was just appalled. I'm thinking that perhaps she caught my last pseudo-sleeping post. I will admit, I really like to make up words. But I do it on purpose. I'm not just stupid. And if you can't figure that out, you don't know me well enough. I like to consider myself "vocabularically creative".

Also. A friend once told me that very often the comment threads to my posts were far funnier than the posts themselves. To that I say...You're stupid. If my posts weren't so amazingly fantabulousocious, they wouldn't inspire such hilariousityness in the comment threads. So eat it.

Also. The other night we were heading to bed, and I realized that I needed to pump or else my boobs would explode before Emma actually got up to eat. So. I started flipping through the channels and got stuck on an infomercial for "Express Redi Set Go". Please tell me you've heard of this. It's this round little cooker that you can make omelets, burritos, sandwiches, etc in. Anyway. I became mesmerized by this informercial and ended up watching it for a FULL HOUR when I could have been sleeping. I am baffled by their choice of spokesperson, though. They picked this old lady with a GIANT, poofy, crayon-red hair do, liverspots, ridiculously long fake fingernails, and I'm pretty sure she was channeling Tammy Fay in her choice of facial decoration. And I couldn't stop staring at her. I got queasy watching her be-liverspotted hands pick up all the ingredients. And yet. I really, really, really want an Express Redi Set Go. Like, really badly.

So, remember Sham Wow Infomercial Guy? He got beat up. It was in Time Magazine. The caption under the picture of him all black and blue and cut up... "Sham Pow". HILARIOUS. I'm guessing the deed was done by some manufacturer of the Sham Wow Imitators that he dissed in the infomercial. That'll teach him.

I hate facebook quizzes. The only one I did was the "Which Bible Character Are You?". I am Moses. Not too shabby, although I'd really like to see the Promised Land. But what I hate most is on the new facebook homepage, EVERY TIME anyone does a quiz, I have to hear about it. And there are some people who do FIFTY QUIZZES a day. And. I. Hate. It.

Mmmmmmm. Artificial Crab Sandwiches.

Things and whoositswhatsits

So. I have lost 3 lbs. And my 5k is in 11 days. I have realized recently that it's not running a 5k that will be hard for me. I can run that distance easy peezy. It's running it in any sort of decent time that will be the trick. I used to be able to run at a decent pace, but since I've started running again, my hips just aren't cooperating with me. I used to start out slow and pick up speed as I got into my groove. But there is no groove anymore, so I start out slow, and get slower and slower. I'm sure watching me run is like watching the honey pour out of a jar that's been in the fridge. You know. Not very fast like. BUT. I did lose 3 lbs, so I guess running slow is better than not running at all. I am hoping to run my 5k in under 30 minutes. I did a 5k before and it took me about 27 minutes. And I had stopped and waited for my running partner a couple of times, until she finally told me to just go ahead with out her. So anyway. That's that.

Next, I would like to share some of what I've been reading. I strongly encourage you all to read "The Definitive Guide to Stuff White People Like: The Unique Taste of Millions". It was written by a very trendy looking, white hipster. It is very, very funny and sarcastic. And it's an easy read. My kind of book. It lists 150 things and kind of explains (for non-white people) how to use that information to get in good with white people. Some items on this list:

*Making You Feel Bad for Not Going Outside
*Hating Their Parents
*Barack Obama
*Subtitles
*Premium Juice
*Difficult Break Ups
*Plaid
*Portland Oregon
*Having Children in Their Late Thirties

Those were just a few items that made the list. Each item is then explained in a very witty way. One item on the list is "Indie Music". The author explains,

"WARNING: Indie Music is perhaps the most dangerous subject you can discuss with white people. One false move and you will lose their respect and admiration forever. Here are some general rules:

*Bands that have had their songs in an Apple ad are still marginally acceptable
*Bands that have had their songs in ads for other companies are not acceptable
*If you mention a band you like and the white person has heard of it, you lose. They own you. It is essential that you like the most obscure music possible."


Another item is "The Idea of Soccer". Here's what it says about that...

"Many white people will tell you that they are very into soccer. But be careful. It's a trap. If you then attempt to engage them about your favorite soccer team or talk about famous moments in soccer history, you are likely to be met with blank stares. This is because white people don't actually enjoy watching soccer. They just like telling their friends that they are into it. In fact, the main reason white people like soccer is so they can buy a new scarf! As you may or may not know, many soccer teams issue special scarves, and white people cannot get enough of them!"

I don't know if it's just me, but I found this whole freakin' book just absolutely hilarious. I was literally laughing out loud, time after time. It was a great read.

Another one I'm working on right now is "Me Talk Pretty One Day" by Dave Sedaris. It's a collection of short stories that can be crass at times, but it's also quite witty in a rather blunt kind of way. My plan is to next read "The Last Lecture", which I've heard is quite excellent...

Sara had mentioned some time ago that we should do a book club blog or something of the sorts. Since that really never came to fruition, I'm just going to post perhaps a short list of some of the reading I've done recently, and maybe others can do the same so we can find those good books out there!

Emma can bounce!

Update!

For those who read my last post:

I sent in my registration form today for the Mechanicsburg S'Mile'R 5K on April 25. My original goal was to do one by the end of April, but I modified that to end of May because I didn't think I'd be able to find one by the end of April. But I did, it's nearby, and I'm registered! Woohoo!

Because The World Is Out To Get Me

Dear Fat on My Butt and Thighs:

I'm blogging to you, letter style, to really annoy Anna. Who thinks this trend is overplayed. Well guess what, FOMBAT, the letter I'm writing to you will make the letter writing blog style come back, and Anna will be even more annoyed-er. So I'm accomplishing two things at once in this letter that I am blogging to you.

On to my point, FOMBAT. You are not welcome here anymore. I've decided to stop calling you "The Twin Sister Emma Left Behind" because that made it kind of cute. And cute, you are definitely not. FOMBAT is a far uglier term. And appropriate. So, get off me, alright?

Sincerely,
Alyssa


Ok, now on to the meat of this post.

I'm TRYING to get off this baby weight. It's just not happening. And it seems this week that the world is conspiring against me. I do my best to plan out healthy meals for the week before I go to the grocery store, so that I don't end up picking up junk. But no one else cooperates. Mom has been bringing me loaf after loaf of Amish Friendship bread for the last month or two, thanks to her friend who gave her a starter that requires her to be in a constant state of baking. Don't get me wrong, it's delicious, but all is does is make more FOMBAT friends. And also, mom and dad decided to buy EVERY SINGLE BAKED GOOD available that was on auction at the ward spaghetti dinner/fund raiser. And guess what they did with most of it? Yeah, it's sitting on my counter. And Mike's track team was doing a fundraiser, and he got roped into buying $30 worth of chocolate chip cookie dough. And a friend of mine was so sweet as to stop by my house today and drop off a whole plate of cookies as thanks for teaching her primary class this past week. So let me break down the contents of my kitchen counter for you...

*Otis Spunkenmeyer muffins (we bought)
*Mini Bagels (we bought)
*A Loaf of Chocolate Amish Friendship Bread (from mom)
*Half of a 9x13 White Chocolate Blueberry Cake (auction)
*2 Slices of Chocolate Mousse Cheesecake (auction)
*An entire pan of brownies topped with Mint ButterCream Icing (auction)
*Huge Plate of Yummy cookies (Cheri)

That's a pretty darn long list. Of conspirators. I think I weigh more now than I did at 8 months pregnant. Sigh.

So anyway. The point of this blog. I AM CALLING MYSELF OUT.

I will be signing up to run a 5K by the end of May. I haven't found one just yet (well I have, I'm just hoping to find one that's closer to da burg) but I will. My issue is MOTIVATION. In college, I constantly had other people telling me what to do and when to do it. I HAD to work out. Between lifting and running, volleyball practice and track practice, I was ALWAYS working out, ALL YEAR ROUND. I just had no choice. And despite the fact I was CRAZY busy all the time, I lived no more than a few minutes away from campus where the gym was open all hours. And I didn't have a husband or baby to worry about and take care of. The last time I had any sort of goal for working out was when I was working towards my wedding. I really wanted to look smokin' hot for my wedding. And I think it did. And it's been pretty much downhill since then.

So why am I having such motivation issues? Mom comes once a week so I can get to the gym during the day. If I want to go at any time other than that, it has to be at night after Emma's in bed and Mike is home. And by that time, I am just WAY too tired. I do a lot of walking with Emma when it's nice outside, but the weather is still way too inconsistent at this point. I'd love to get a jogging stroller, but from what I hear they are pretty expensive, and we've got our money dog-eared for other things that are more important. Also, my hips are KILLING ME! All you moms out there...do the hips ever get back to normal? That was the most painful part of pregnancy for me, but they kind of went back to normal after I had Emma. But recently as I've been running, my hips have started to feel...well I don't really know how to describe it. They just feel off? Anybody else get that? I had gotten myself to the point where I would run 3 or 4 miles, but the last few times I've been out I can't get much past a mile and a half before my hips just hurt hurt hurt. So I'm not sure what to do about that.

So. That's my story. I will be running AT LEAST a 5K, if not a 5-miler, by the end of May. I know lots of you are runners, so feel free to inundate me with all your motivation techniques, strategies, etc. So now that I've called myself out, I must deliver! And hopefully, FOMBAT will be banished.

DOWN WITH THE SQUISH!