I had an experience today that I'm sure every mother can relate to. However, it was a first for me, and kind of shocked me.
Today was the first time I took Emma to the grocery store with me. And I was appalled by the numerous strangers who thought it was totally normal and ok to make comments about me and/or Emma. And the grocery store was rather empty today, so I'm almost afraid to think what it would have been like, had it been full!
The first interaction happened like this...
lady: What a cute little boy you have!
Me: Oh thank you, but it's a girl!
lady: Really? She looks like a boy.
Me: Nope, she's a girl. See, she's wearing pink!
lady: Still looks like a boy (followed by a long, dirty look at me)
I should note that this lady was elderly. You all know how I feel about the elderly. So I'll leave that one at that...
Second interaction happened as I was scanning the soy milk products. It was about this time that Emma started freaking out, because she was a tired little baby, and just couldn't fall asleep this afternoon. So, random middle-aged guy walked up behind me. I should note that he had NO cart, NO basket, and NO items in his hands. He was also NOT trying to purchase any soymilk products, so I'm not even sure why he was at the store.
guy (with a grimace on his face): She seems unhappy
me: Yeah, she's sleepy and needs a nap
guy: (no words, just keep grimacing and leaning over my shoulder to stare into her car seat)
me: (no words, pick up my silk, and start to walk away)
guy: (still grimacing) Hmph.
Um, ok. Sorry my baby cried. If it BOTHERED you, maybe you should have walked AWAY from the baby, instead of TOWARDS her. Oh and buddy, lose the 'tude.
Last interaction occurred as I was standing in line to check out, and Emma was still screaming.
lady: Oh, what a cute baby! How old is she?
me: thank you! 8 weeks!
lady: Maybe she is hungry?
me: No, she's just tired.
lady: Maybe you should feed her!
me: Uh, she just ate, she's really just tired.
lady: Oh well maybe you could try, she seems hungry.
me: Huh. K.
Really????? Is it NORMAL for strangers to say things like that? Seriously???
12 comments:
People drive me nuts! They need to mind their own business!! I would've been so annoyed!
Welcome to motherhood:)
This is normal and the most annoying part of parenting...especially when they just seem to know you're a first time mom!
I had a lady once walk up to Ty, pull OUT his pacifer and proceed to tell me it wasn't good for him. I looked her straight in the eye, put it back in his mouth, said "it's good for me, when I have 45 minutes to pack up this cart, pay for the items, unload it, feed the kids and get everyone ready for their nap without any drama".
She rolled (yes rolled) her eyes at me.
So yes....it's all apart of it...and it sucks...but your skin gets thicker with every encounter!
Edited to add: Ty was sitting happily in the cart sucking on his pacifier when this whole incident went down. He WAS, however, about to freak out when she pulled it out of his mouth....can you imagine?
I have vowed from now on that I will literally punch these people in the face. Seriously. If they believe they have the right to come up and comment on my mothering abilities (or, heaven forbid, TAKE BINKIES OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES!!! WHA?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!) then they have forfeited their right not to be punched. So next time just punch them.
Christy, I have had people pull my kids thumbs out of their mouths. I want to do very violent physical acts to those people.
I've had the whole gamut of reactions. People staring, commenting, sighing very loudly, making "suggestions." It's all highly obnoxious. When people stare the very best thing is to make eye contact and stare right back. It's very liberating.
One time we went to Sprouts. Chase had gone ahead of me with the boys and Miles was losing it. As I was walking through the store to meet them I saw this older woman (whose children, you can be sure, NEVER acted in such an atrocious manner) stop her cart, turn around and stare at Miles and then make a very ugly face and put her hand to her chest. As though Miles was the spawn of Satan and she was offended by him being in her store. I was about to walk right up and get in her face but I realized what I would have said would have been very, VERY un-Christian. So I kept walking right by the huffy little tart. If I had a do-over, though, I would have walked right up and called her every name in the book. Those people need a dose of their own medicine sometimes.
(whew! can you tell I have some pent-up frustration on this matter?!)
Like Nicole said' "Welcome to Motherhood" And start thinking up quippy comebacks for even the most awkward scenario...It will happen!
I have gone straight to near-violent acts. My best story is, when I was 37 weeks pg with Keaton, in a new house, with two little ones and a deployed husband, I took the two boys to Michaels. I didn't really WANT to take them there, but it was Hudson's birthday and I had promised him a Thomas cake, so I went to Michaels to get some supplies I was missing. Hudson, who hadn't seen his dad in five months and whose world had been completely upended in that time, but who, for the most part, had been handling it like a champ, proceeded to have a meltdown in the checkout line because he wanted for some unknown reason to be in a different checkout line and wouldn't take no for an answer when I told him it had just closed. (How's that for a run-on sentence? HA!) I pulled him out of line and over to the corner of the store and sat him down for a time-out, while I stood there massively pregnant, trying not to sob while Cannon was in the cart looking bewildered. Some lady came over and bent down to talk to Hudson. I thought she was going try to soothe him because she started talking all soft and sweetly. But she proceeded to start telling him about what a BRAT he was. After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I started screaming at her at the top of my lungs about how SHE is not his parent, I AM, and I will NOT allow some stranger to tell my kid he's a BRAT and how I've NEVER been so offended in my life, and so on and so forth. Everyone in the store was looking at us, and I kept screaming at her until she was out the door. Then I loudly announced that I was trying to give my child a time-out and did anyone else have a problem with that? Most of the women in there agreed with me that she was WAYYY out of line and came over to console ME as I stood there in tears, rambling on about my deployed husband and being so pregnant and yada yada
Good times :)
"huffy little tart" That is simply awesome.
OMG, Chrysta! I would have KICKED HER A$$!! I have some country red neck in me that turns into MASSIVE mama bear.....you did better than I would have! I would have wrestled that woman to the ground (yes at 37 weeks pregnant)!!!!!!
Wow, those are some stories. I was just thinking I don't recall any of that stuff -- the kids acting up part, yes; being touched by strangers, sure; but the verbal/physical reactions of others, not so much. Then it occurred to me that a) I'm probably so scary when my kids act up in public that huffy little tarts cower in my presence; 2) I can't remember anything past 5 minutes ago so it probably all happened but I'm blissfully unaware; and iii) I probably just didn't/don't hear them. Actually, now that I think about it, I wonder how often it happens that someone berates me or my kids, and I just smile at them or answer a question they didn't ask, whereupon they just think I'm a crazy loon and feel deep pity for the children. Joke's on them.
So that's my advice, Alyssa. Act like a crazy loon. Soon enough you'll develop a nice reputation and all the busybodies will leave you and your kidlets alone.
And if not, at least you have some good material for your blog.
HOLY CRAPPYMCSTINKER!!!!!!!!!! That is the number one most insane thing I have ever heard in my life. I've seen people judge from afar and even kinda close-up. But to lean down and whisper to a child what you think of them? Holy. Freakin. Crap. Holy crap.
Chrysta, I love how you handled it. Loved it.
That is all.
p.s. While walking out of the store today with the kids in the cart a man looked at me and smiled and said, "Three boys!" Yes, that's right. That little baby dressed head to toe in three different shades of pink is my third boy. You betcha (wink)!
Chrysta -- I remember that day SOOOO well, and I am just as mortified today as I was the day it happened. How you kept from slapping that ho-bag in the face is beyond me, but I think about it every time I go to Michael's now.
I just DARE anybody to try that in front of me -- I'll unleash a string of profanities that would make a sailor blush. I must have trailer park blood in me somewhere...
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