And we're moving on...

Alright guys, sorry to get so dramatic in my last post. I know I said I wasn't being melodramatic, but let's face it... it was pretty melodramatic. It was all very real, and very true to what I was feeling, but lest ye worry... let me 'splain.

We have had a CRAZY several months. Let's see... 37 weeks ago we decided to put the house on the market, and set forth on 6 weeks worth of renovations and project clean ups on the house to get it ready. Then, we put the house on the market and I simultaneously became pregnant. Then we spent five weeks being freakishly anal about keeping the house clean and presentable. Then we sold the house, and spent the next 4 weeks looking for a new house to move into. We found one, and then spent another 3 weeks filling out mortgage paperwork, and packing our house. And then we moved when I was 12 weeks pregnant. Then we lived in our new house for 2 weeks before driving to Myrtle Beach, SC for a week of vacation which was splendid, but simultaneously exhausting. And then we came home and tried to unpack from vacation and also still from the move, and then a couple weeks later we packed up again and drove two days to Iowa. Then we stayed a week with Jerry and Sara and had a lot of fun watching Emma run in circles with her cousins, and try to ride Max. Then we drove home and unpacked again, but still weren't done actually unpacking the house. Then we had church picnics and the 4th of July get together with Mike's family, before Chrysta and her three boys arrived at Mom and Dad's. Then we spent the next 3 weeks galavanting with them. It was literally three weeks straight of go, go, go... in a very good way. And then just before Chrysta left, Scott and Christy came with their two boys and were here for another week. And we also spent that week go, go, going which was very fun.

That brings us up to 3 1/2 weeks ago.

And, well, we haven't really had much to do in the last 3 1/2 weeks, except watch me gestate. Which isn't as interesting as it sounds.

Soooooooooooooooo. This week hasn't been bad, but the three weeks before it... Emma. Was. Miserable.

She would wake up every day and ask for her cousins, or cuzzy's, as she called them... and she would ask for them by name. EVERY. DAY.

It was the same thing, every morning. Wake up. Eat breakfast. And then have this conversation...

Emma: Go!
Me: Go where?
Emma: Garage?
Me: What's in the garage?
Emma: Cars.
Me: Where do we need to go in the car?
Emma: Go. Car. CUZZY!
Me: But your cuzzy's had to go home! We could go to the park?
Emma: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (insert screaming and crying)

And then she would start listing her cousins off by name, and I would tell her where, specifically, each cousin was.

And when she realized there was no cousin to go see... she would just be miserable. Completely distraught and sad. Tears streaming down her face, that kind of sad.

On top of this, Emma simultaneously began having problems sleeping again. She'd gone 4 or 5 months where she'd sleep soundly for 12-13 hours each night, and then take a really good nap in the afternoon. Well, as soon as the cousins left, she started putting up a fight at bedtime, waking up in the middle of the night, waking up 1-2 hours earlier than usual in the mornings, and taking very short, or even NO nap at all. So she was cranky about no cuzzy's to see in the first place, and RIDICULOUSLY tired on top of it. For 3 weeks... same thing every day. I don't think the sleeping thing was really related to the cuzzy's at all, just an unfortunate coincidence that I can't really explain. But regardless of the bags under her eyes, it was apparent that I was THE LAST person she wanted to spend her time with. After weeks and weeks of go, go, go, with tons of people around to entertain her, she was just not happy having to adjust to just mommy. And I took it kind of hard. It doesn't help that I am also crazy hormonal. It also doesn't help that I'm waking up multiple times in the middle of the night on my own, let alone when Emma's waking me up... so we're both just sleepless and cranky. Oh, and then she and I both got sick last week.

After the last 37 weeks we've had, I, personally, would love to just SIT and RELAX. Emma has other ideas.

SO ANYWAY. Sorry if ya'll were worried (mom). We're doing ok up in here, we're surviving at least. And I'm learning a lot about myself and Emma. I really appreciate all your supportive comments. I knew I wasn't the only who had ever felt that way, but it was nice to hear that others have had their moments, too. It's hard NOT to compare yourself to others, but it's true, we often don't let others see these hard moments. It's the shining moments they see.

I'm happy to report that, so far, this week has been better. Her sleep seems to be improving, and her mood is improving as well. She's more tolerant of trips to the park with just me, and the weather has cooled down a bit this week so I can tolerate being outside for longer stretches with her. That helps. So we'll see how things go.

And just so you know that I'm still the same as I ever was...

At church we were talking about Job in Sunday School, and the only comment I could muster was, "Mo' money, mo' problems". And yes... I said that out loud.