Thursday, July 23, 2009

Shut Up

Some things I'd like people to shut up about:

1. Emma does not look like a boy. If you ask me what "his" name is one more time, I will literally, physically, slap you in the face.

2. Emma is not a bad baby. She is a baby. And sometimes she is cranky, or not feeling good. And sometimes, it doesn't matter what I do, I just can't make it better. I apologize if this interferes with things you'd like to dump on me, and make me do (instead of doing it yourself, like you should) but please don't ever, EVER say nasty things about my 8 month old child. Or I will literally, physically, slap you in the face.

3. Mike is not a bad husband. Yes, he is at times away from home more than I'd like. But that's because he is a giving person. He has given the last 7 years to CD Track and Field, coaching up to 35 high school boys and girls in a given season for what basically equates to 20 cents an hour. He's spent the last 3 years working with the Young Men's program at our church, because he wants to be a good example to them. He's also been involved in the scouting program, because he wants to give back to the program that did so much for him when he was younger. It's what Eagle Scouts do. He works a ridiculous number of hours because he is committed to his job, the job that supports our family so that I can be a stay at home mom. So don't you ever, EVER say nasty things about my husband again. Or I will literally, physically, slap you in the face.

4. I am not lazy. I am not uneducated. I am not a mooch. I am a stay at home mom. Since when has that been the lazy thing to do? And since when did becoming a SAHM mean that my college education, and my current pursuit of a masters degree counted for nothing? I'm not an idiot. Sure, I make up words and say silly things. But that's on purpose because that's who I am. So don't you ever, EVER say nasty things about me again. Or I will literally, physically, slap you in the face.

*Sorry for the vent. Can you tell I'm grumpy? After Emma's horrible week last week, she's been amazingly wonderful and happy and just perfect this week. So I've just been delighted all week, and then BOOM. I find out that some of my "friends" have felt the need to discuss details of my life and people that I love, behind my back, and have judged me rather harshly, as you can tell. It makes me very, very angry. And this mess has left me enraged. I know some of you are reading this, and I will probably regret this post in the morning. But right now I'm too hurt to care how you will respond.
**Can you tell I'm very passive aggressive? This post is the aggressive part. The passive part is where I lose the nerve to confront you face to face, because I hate confrontation. I have a history of just bottling these things up, and letting them eat at me. Ugh. So grumpy right now.
***But seriously, I will be literally, physically, slapping people in the face if it comes to that.

PS. Emma is just amazing. Video to come later (sorry no pic for this post, Lauren!! The video will be worth the wait!!)

17 comments:

The Chick Family said...

good for you alyssa! i wish i had enough courage to stand up for myself like that no matter what others could think. i know where you are coming from.

Nicole said...

Remind me not to ever get on your bad side -- Chrysta says you sleep with spears over your bed and I believe her:)

Good for you. I think we'd all feel better if we stood up for ourselves more often.

((HUGS))

Deb said...

Just wow. So now I'm totally giddy about your "I love you." comment, because feeling the love was obviously not where you were.

You are one of my all-time favorite people on this planet. Your kind heart, creativity and wit are magnetic. I'll admit your Kilgore intelligence is a little intimidating, but I try to ignore that and pretend I'm not that much dumber than you. At least there's Balderdash.

At any rate, I don't think you'll ultimately regret this post. You put your feelings on the table for your "friends" to consider. Some will fade away; hopefully a few will become better at being friends. And in places you might not have thought to look, you'll find friends who support you where you are in your life, and those will be the ones who've got your back.

I love you, also too.

Amelia and Edmund said...

People are dumb. Slap away. (I'm just glad I live on the other side of the continent! Jokes. :D )

Shaylynn... a girl, a story, a blog said...

I'm mildly afraid of you now.

Sara K. said...

Poor girl, especially to have that follow last week. Hopefully you feel better now and all will be well. Perhaps they need to embrace their inner ugly instead of being judgmental, just a thought.

And what were they thinking, do they know you chuck (and apparently sleep with) spears and that Mike is as big as a house and could throw them past the Mason-Dixon line?

Chrystapooh said...

You can tell those "friends" that if we ever find out who they are, your oldest (ok, just OLD) sister and the rest of the UMC will be all up in their faces, slapping away like it's the cool thing to do. And it WILL be the cool thing to do. For us. In fact, it will be a rollicking good time, and now I'm looking forward to it, so really, they'd better watch out.

Lyss, welcome to the dark side of motherhood. Unfortunately, you have the Ugly Moms Club moms, who compete for "biggest complainer of the year" when we're having a rough day and we really just need to vent so we can get back to counting our blessings, and then you have the LITERALLY, DEEP DOWN IN THEIR SOULS, HORRIFYINGLY, DISGUSTINGLY, UGLY MOMS, who feel the need to disect other moms' lives and gossip behind their backs and denigrate their accomplishments and make outrageously insulting judgements about their husbands and children. And they never get back to counting their own blessings, because they are too sad and sorry to even recognize what they've got. They'd rather just spend their lives making other people feel like crap, thinking somehow that's going to dig them out of the hole that they've put themselves in. And even when they're caught, and people start to realize just how nasty they are, it doesn't change anything. Not unless they're willing to take a good long look at their own black little hearts and start the changes there. I'm sorry you had to experience the dark side so soon in your mothering career.

To the nasty people: when it comes to my little sisters, I'm not passive aggressive. I'm just aggressive. I don't have a problem with confrontation, so you'd better hope like hell I never meet you and know who you are.

Nicole: I'm not sure where Alyssa keeps her javelins these days. I'm sure they're in her house somewhere, but she doesn't sleep with them over her bed anymore. Now she just sleeps with Mike. 'Nuff said. :D

Chrystapooh said...

And apparently Sara and I were commenting at the same time:

JINX!!!!!

Anna@Exasperation said...

Oh no they didn't! You're freakin' kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm all astonishment right now.
I wish I could tell you that's never happened to me, and all that jazz. But it has, unfortunately. People who are ignorant will often comment about others' lives because they feel a false sense of superiority. It sucks, but it's true. And you have every right to feel upset. It's just not right.
Those of us who actually KNOW stuff (like, TONS of stuff...so MUCH stuff), know that you're a fabulous mom, Emma is a beautiful, bright, perfect baby; and Mike is an adoring husband and father. Seriously, just the thought of someone thinking Mike is a bad husband makes me want to laugh my head off. Have they ever met him? I've really only read about guys like him in fiction! They don't usually exists. His sole purpose in life is to make God, you and Emma happy. He just dotes on you and Emma and would give every appendage and a couple kidneys if you needed/wanted him to.
And as far as your intelligence, being a moocher, being lazy...I'm seriously about to jump into the screen. ARGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Anna@Exasperation said...

Just read Sara's mason-dixon line comment. So funny!

Chrystapooh said...

Seriously. The man paid for his college degree by throwing heavy things as far as he could manage (which was a looong way). Do they really not know this about him??? Chucking a couple of demented chicks who dissed his wife and daughter would be no sweat.

Christy said...

Let me help you slap around some people. I have some pent up frustrations of my own! I love you and think your quirkiness is what makes you an amazing mother and you don't owe ANYONE an explanation......Those who love you don't need you to justify your life to us. xo xo

Holly and Steve said...

GOOD for you! People are so mean sometimes. And being a mom is not what I call lazy. It is hard work. Anyone who says that I want to slap them in the face.

lauren said...

That was kind of HILARIOUS!! Sorry no disrespect - but people are RETARDED!! I really could write paragraphs about the RIDICULOUSNESSESS of those people who really said that crap. I think the slapping is an amazingly perfect idea- please invite me when you do it - I am good back up.. I promise!! I forgive you for no picture - I will expect cute squishiness in the future.

lauren said...

Oh and me too - please remind me to NEVER get on your bad side. I like my face unslapped as it is..

Jean said...

And I say, Amen. 'Nuff said. Btw...lemme know when the face slapping will begin. You know I'm always down for a face slapping good time! I Love You!!!

Shell said...

You're "friends" with my sisters in law aren't you? (No, kidding 2 of my several sisters in law said close to the same things 4 years ago). Mean people suck. You, do not. You are one of my fav, I don't even know you in person, but wish I did, people.