Friday, March 13, 2009

I'm Calling You Out

NICOLE McQUAIN TERRY - I am calling you out! I SO wanted to win the "worst roommate story of the universe" contest, but it's clear that I have not. And what have you done?? Left us all wanting to hear more, about your other two freaky roommates! So Nicole, next time I check your blog...you better deliver! For realz.

In other news...Emma is ridiculously awesome and goodlooking. I will post a slideshow with some updated pictures soon. But for now, just know that she is a SPAZ. A major spaz. I'm sure that for you who know me, this comes as no surprise. She is her mothers daughter:) She just never stops moving. Her legs, in particular, are hilarious. I am constantly amazed at how coordinated her feet are! She grabs things with her legs/feet and can really get a grip on them! In the tubby, she will trap her rubby ducky with her feet. Diapering has become an adventure, because she will trap my right hand with her legs/feet, and then grab my left arm with her hands. And this girl has got a firm grip! And seriously, did I mention that she never stops moving? Even in her sleep? Actually....it's more like ESPECIALLY in her sleep. Mike and I peeked in on her last night, and her legs were going much like a dog who's dreaming of chasing cars. It would be far more hilarious if said movement did not cause her to wake herself up and start crying a bajillion times a night. But we're working on that. And it's a whole other, sleepless story!

So, that's all for now. Nicole. Don't think I'll forget about your roommates. Get busy typing!

6 comments:

Nicole said...

Alyssa,

I'll get on it with the other two, but not on my blog -- I am still friends with the other two (life is weird) and they are linked to my blog. If I out them over at my place, they will know immediately and will be mortified. Rightfully so, I might add.

I'll do the write ups on the other two on your last post, but it won't be today, because today is stupidly busy (don't ask how I had time to check blogs -- I just skipped deodorant, okay?)

And please. Jenny Petty takes the cake, hands down!

Anna@Exasperation said...

Alyssa, no worries. While Nicole's thievery-filled roommate story was indeed crazy I'm not sure it can stack up against a head-shaving, pre-Edward-vampire-loving, deodorant-stealing, wig-wearing, Little Person roommate. Seriously. Not even Stephen King could have come up with that one...

Chrystapooh said...

Um, yeah. I'm with Anna re: Jenny Petty. But I still want to hear more of Nicole's roommate stories.

And Emma's sleeping habits sound a lot like yours. There is a reason that you always had an entire queen-size bed to yourself in the girls' room any time we ever stayed in a hotel :) Talk about a spaz...

Deb said...

Anna, I kind of felt a "here's you you ..." coming on. Jenny Petty still gets my freaky vote, though Nicole's story also makes me realize that I really lucked out in the roommate department.

Alyssa, Don't you wonder what Jenny Petty is up to now? You should totally friend her on Facebook, and casually post things like, "Remember that time when your skanky brother slept on my sheets..." and "Remember how you used to use my deodorant, yeah ... good times." And then she can set her status to "Jenny Petty is wanting to make a dead person poster out of Alyssa." I can make you some Jenny Petty flair. Which you can send her.

Nicole said...

Okay, so Sherrie was the worst of the roommates, but two of the others were not so easy to live with either.

One of them was always trying new fad diets -- not eating after 5:00 pm, consuming ridiculous quantities of lemons, only drinking foods that had been juiced, etc. Anyway, she never stuck to it so her GI was always whacked out from the on again off again relationship with normal food.

So let's get right to it: the girl had serious poop issues, and REGULARLY clogged the toilet. Like almost every time she went (which was CLEARLY not often enough). So this one time in particular we had a house full of people and she disappears into the bathroom for about a year re-emerges with a horrified look on her face and frantically motions for me to come over to the bathroom. Which, like an idiot, I did.

Girlfriend had plugged it up so badly that the plunger was begging for sweet mercy. A guy she was hoping to date was out in the living room and she knew it was becoming obvious that she was having toilet issues, so she BEGGED me to "fix" the problem for her so she could get back to flirting. So, like the good friend/doormat that I was back then, I accepted the challenge -- which eventually involved a wire coat hanger -- and cleared the clog.

It gets better. When I came out of the bathroom, she loudly says to everyone, "Gee Nicole, did you fall in?" just to make sure that everyone noticed that I had been in the bathroom for a long time, making it look like it had been my 23 pound brick lodged in the toilet instead of hers. Nice, eh?

The Nicole of today would have handled the whole event much differently, but back then I just took it. Until the night she dared some dude I had never met to go get into bed with me. At 3:00 am. When I was engaged to Boone. Seriously.

I had gone to bed around 1:00, before she and another of our roomies had come home from their dates with two UVSC guys. Since it was past curfew at our BYU housing complex, the guys should not have even been in our apartment. Period.
But there they were until...well...about 3:02 am.

At some point in the living room portion of their date they decided it would be SOOOO funny if they had one of the guys (whom I had never even met) go into my bedroom where I was sleeping and crawl into bed with me. So I wake up to some random dude IN MY TWIN BED RUBBING MY THIGH and I went ballistic. Came flying out of my room -- braless of course -- screaming like a banshee and picking up the phone to call the police. I had no clue who this guy was, but when I grabbed the phone my two roommates starting yelling at me and told me I should lighten up. Why couldn't I take a joke? It turned into a HUGE fight, and I called Boone (my fiance at that point) all sobbing about a strange guy in my bed, and he burst into the apartment (all 165 pounds of him) ready to unload on the guys and my roommates.

Anyway, it was ugly and didn't resolve for a good long while. In our next installment, I'll explain why one of the roommates (not the toilet clogger) was out to get me...

Alyssa said...

Seriously, in high school I used to be addicted to General Hospital. And now I'm addicted to Days of Nicole's Roommates. I can't wait for the next installment!!