Because All I Can Say Is "Wow"

Hmmmmm. Sooooo. 9:22 PM. And I'm feeling all...craaaaaaaaaaazy.

Let's see here. I logged on for a specific purpose. But I can't really think of what that is at the current moment...thinking. Thinking...it will come to me. I swear.

In other non-related-to-why-I-logged-on-news...Emma is learning how to sleep! She's been doing pretty well for the last week. Which is good, because before that she was not doing pretty good. She was doing anti-good. Which I supposed would be bad. But it sounds bad to say my baby was doing "bad". So I just won't say it. She was doing anti-good. Yeah, that's it. But also too like I said, now she's doing good. Which I guess we could say is anti-bad. You feel me...

Sooooo she's been doing pretty good...so why is it 9:28 only and I'm feeling craaaaaaazy? (And why did it take me 6 minutes to write that first paragraph??) Because while Emma kept waking herself up crying because she was just in the habit of it...I also myself too got in the habit of waking up at those same times that she was also too waking up. I wasn't waking myself up crying. Well sometimes I was. Because she was. And that sometimes too made me cry. But not now. I just wake up, and think, She's not awake! Is she dead? Is she alive? Has she jumped out of her crib and gone in to the kitchen for peanut butter bread? (People, this is usually around 3 or 4 in the morning...so don't laugh at my mid-night-ish irrational thoughts). So even though I could be sleeping...man I am not. Sometimes. Last nightish, mostly. I got about 4 hours of non-consecutive sleep, and that was after an also sleeplessish night on Friday...and dealing with the drama and crying that accompany Emma's shots at the Dr.'s office on a Friday when she has an appointment. Which was this Friday. So. Not so much sleep for Alyssa. But Emma is getting more sleep. Was that the point of blogging? I don't think it was. I'll keep blabbing.

Ummm...Dr. man thinks Emma is really strong. Mostly because she bawled and bawled and rolled and rolled and bucked and kicked like some sort of wild bronco who needed some tender care from Robert Redford, also too known as the Horse Whisperer. Or from Chrysta, who one time called herself the Emma Whisperer. I digress. Uh. Yeah Emma is strong. And cool and funny and cute and sometimes makes me cry. Sometimes in good ways. Sometimes not so good. Which we call anti-good. I digressed again.

Emma doesn't really sleep much during the day, though. Which makes me...tired. And crazy, at only 9:32 PM. It also means I haven't much time to clean. Which is why I noticed that I no longer have dust bunnies hiding in my house. I have dust Clydesdales boarding in my house. Seriously, they're like the size of tumbleweeds. And they ominously blow across the floor when the refrigerator kicks on...I really miss cleaning. Mom was over on Wednesday (for her weekly..."Alyssa you need to go workout, but no really I just want my Emma Muffin Time" visit. And I asked her to stay extra longer, so I could...CLEAN. AND...yes AND...she folded seventy bajillion loads of laundry for me, that had taken up residence in my living room.

Oh cleaning! I have suddenly recalled why I logged on...I knew if I rambled on long enough it would come to me.

SHAMWOW!

So...I updated my fb status to explain how I'd spilled a huge glass of agua on my living room carpet and was pretty irked by it...until Mike came out with our SHAMWOW and cleaned it up:) And that made me happy. And all I could say was...WOW. If you don't know what that's from, you don't watch enough TV. Or maybe you watch too much, and it has all run together like some acid-induced time warp panorama. In any case. Sham Wow. Except. Mike (who bought these for me as a VDay present of sorts) was fooled by imitators. Really Hyper Sham Wow Infomercial Guy warned of this. And Mike fell prey. And he bought...SUPERSHAMMY! Doesn't have quite the same ring as SHAMWOW. And I feel like it's probably not as shammyish as SHAMWOW, but it did a nice job. So I applaud him for his efforts. He's a good man, he is.

Also have you ever said a word so many times that it just started to sound ridiculous, perhaps kind of like an anti-word? For example, say Shammy a bunch of times. Shammy shammy shammy shammy shammy shammy shammy shammy shammy shammy shammy shammy. See?

Also I got a new haircut and have realized that for a very coordinated person such as I myself am very coordinated...I can't use my left and right hand at the same time. Except when typing. And eating. And driving. And playing guitar. And...ok well let's just say that I can use my left and right hand at the same time in a very coordinatedly manner, EXCEPT when doing my hair. I got the hair chopped because I was so tired of how long it took to blow dry and straighten my hair. But now I have got to blow dry my hair with a round brush. And that is hard. And I'm not good at it. And so sometimes my hair is flippy inny on one side and flippy outtie on the other. And snaggly in the back. But other times it looks good. When I somehow get a 30 minute allottment of time to work on it. Very uncoordinatedly, I might add. You might ask yourself how I've had so many hair extremes seeing as how it only got cut on Tuesday. But it's been 4 days. And I've had 4 very different hairnesses.

Is anyone else finding my usage of fake words a little overwhelming tonight? Hmmm.

Blame it on my mother-in-law (HI JANICE!). I made the mistake of saying I liked Wild Cherry Pepsi. So she bought some for me (how nice!). And while at dinner at their house tonight, I drank two of them. After not having caffeine for a very long time. Long long time. And being very tired.

So there you have it. SHAMWOW!

Also, Emma ate with a spoon for the first time last night! It was cute and messy and pictures will be forthcoming because she's the cutiest baby I ever have seen or given birth to.

Also, speaking of the Super Excited Sham Wow Infomercial Guy...have you seen the one for Slap Chop? If it's possible, it's even better than the SHAMWOW. Honestly, a product called Slap Chop has got to be good. I feel like if I had it, I'd be like some sort of magical combination of Martha Stewart and Steven Segall. You know...making culinary delights, but also slapping the crap out of something.

*Note: Mike asked what I was blogging about, or if I was blogging about him. So I said about the Shamwow thing. Shammy shammy shammy shammy. And he said, "Yeah, I did not heed his warning about the imitators." Now you know!

*I just published this, and then realized what my title was...apparently I forgot why I was writing this blog immediately after I titled it!! Silly silly silly. Shammy shammy shammy.