Thursday, April 10, 2008

4 am

So. It's 4 am. And I'm awake. And I've BEEN awake since about 1:45 am, when my wicked sore throat made me gag myself in my sleep. I lumbered out of bed, sprayed some more nasty Chloraseptic down my throat, tried not to throw up for the 15 seconds I had to let it just sit in there, rinsed my mouth out, and went back to bed. But not for real. Because I couldn't fall asleep. Instead, I sat there thinking about how creepy it is to be awake in the middle of the night with the hubby snoring *quite loudly* next to me, and listening to all the strange noises my house makes at night, when we aren't drowning it out with all our activities. And do you know what thought pops into my head? "Man, someone could so easily just break into our house and chop my head off with an axe in the middle of the night". You know, those WORDS weren't actually scanning through my brain, but rather, the IMAGE was scanning through my brain. In it, this supposed villain popped out from under the bed with an axe and decapitated me with one fell swoop. What the heck is my problem? Why I can't I think of kittens or ponies, or how Deb backwards spells Bed? That seems like such a much more pleasant kind of stream of thought. But no, axe murderers for me. And then the image of Mike trying to fight off the axe murderer streams through my mind. In case you're wondering, he put up a valiant fight, but even though he's huge and buff, he's no match for a maniac with an axe. So we both died. And then I wondered who would find us. Turns out it was his parents, because they have a key to the house, and call pretty regularly. So they started to worry.

And so I'm up and out of bed at 4 am, because let's face it, if there's an axe murderer under my bed, why exactly am I just LAYING there, waiting to be decapitated? Doesn't exactly make much sense. My night of sleep is pretty much ruined at this point, so there's no point in trying. BUT - I'm not going to work today, so that's a plus. I realized at about 3:30 that I would be useless at work, and I am getting sicker by the day (with another sinus infection, I think. Feels like it did last time...) and with no sleep, I figured there's just no point. In case you're wondering, there's 41.5 days of school left after today. Huzzah!

6 comments:

Sara K. said...

Hey - ya know that song 'Breathe?' You should totally put your wicked lyrical talents to work and write a song about 4 am instead of 2 am. Axe murderers, ponies, kittens, death and destruction. That would rock.

Chrystapooh said...

Oh yes, the 4am song! Please oh please oh please!!!!!! And then you have to get Mike to video you singing it and post it on You Tube so we can all see and hear it in all its glory. PRETTY PRETTY PLEEEEASE?????

Alyssa said...

Apparently I've turned into a side show...Hmmmm...

Chrystapooh said...

Not a side show, darling, just the family's parodic musician. You're brilliant at it!

Christy said...

Um Lyss, that's my hell since Naples, Italy! Welcome to my world! But at least you have a burley man upstairs ready to kick the crap out of your axe man....I have Bella....and well.....let's face it. NOT MUCH DEFENSE THERE!

Deb said...

I would pay money to hear that song! Realistically though, loudly snoring hubbies probably scare off axe murderers, ponies, kittens, death and destruction. It's all good.