Friday, July 13, 2007

"Nut"

It's 5:30 am and I've been up for an hour. Now, I know for most of you this would probably be normal. BUT - I don't have kids. ALSO - I don't have work right now. So, I find it incredibly absurd that I'm awake. And I went to bed at midnight. But for some darn reason I'm up and WIDE AWAKE and completely irritated with myself. Normally, I'd have company in about 15 minutes, but this also just happens to be the day that Mike has to go straight to a job site, which means he gets to go in later, which means he won't be up til 7:00. Bah!

As for me, I'll be out the door by 7:00, on my way to State College to enjoy the festivities that are "Arts Fest" with my lil sis Bird. Soooooo I have about an hour and a half to kill. Hmmmmm...

I've recently been outed on the WWW as a "nut". In order to better understand this labeling, I looked "nut" up in the dictionary and was none too happy with what I found. Here are some particularly offensive excerpts, and I apologize in advance to the faint of heart:

1. a dry fruit consisting of an edible kernel or meat enclosed in a woody or leathery shell.
5. a block, usually of metal and generally square or hexagonal, perforated with a threaded hole so that it can be screwed down on a bolt to hold together objects through which the bolt passes.
8. Slang.
a. a foolish, silly, or eccentric person.
b. Offensive. an insane person; psychotic.
9. Slang: Vulgar. a testis.

Those words are taken directly from dictionary.com, people, and I don't think a website as virtuous as that is gonna lie. So, to those who would believe that I am indeed a nut, Bah! I am neither a dry fruit containing edible goodies, a block of metal, a foolish, silly person, psychotic, or a testis! Thank you very much!!

Oh... wait... maybe the one who outed me was driving at the "silly" part of that... Hmmm. Yeah. Now that I think about it, ok.... maybe I'm overreacting just a tad. HOWEVER, just for clarification purposes, we can avoid the term "nut" to make sure I'm not lumped in with the loony bin types out there. I prefer the label, "amazingly ridiculous" and "ridiculously good looking" (that's a Zoolander reference for those who haven't seen it... I wouldn't want to be called a nut and a narcissist!!).

9 comments:

Christy said...

LOL
You certainly do have too much time on your hands!!!! LOL

Lyss, I hate to be the one to bring this home for you, but you definitely have the characteristics of a silly pyschotic personality! BUT we love you for that! Don't change. ((HUGS))

Sara K. said...

I think I need to send some of my children to you in order to help you get passed the I'm-so-bored-I-can't-even-sleep phase you seem to be going through. I'll see about sending them Priority. When you're done with them, just pass them along to grandma.

Have you considering taking up a new hobby, like knitting? I'm sure your 'friends' at the gym could hook you up.

Chrystapooh said...

Um, yeah. I think you just proved my point...

Thank you for taking care of that for me. I found it highly enjoyable.

ROTFLMBO!!!

Chrystapooh said...

P.S. You're a cute nut, even at the ridiculously irritating hour of 5:30am. Sorry about your sleep deprivation. Maybe you need to take Sara up on her offer. ;P

Anna@Exasperation said...

See, I would never describe you as a nut. I see your point and I agree that any comparison to male genitalia is, frankly, obscene. And Chrysta is our big sister. She should be setting a better example. For shame.
As for me, I've always preferred to refer to you in more eloquent and lady-like terms such as, lamestupidjerkfacegirl, whackolyllo, and the always impressive, superpsychoticschizzoflippogirl. You see, with such a wide variety of vocabulary available to us all, there is just no need for vulgarity. Let that be a lesson to all of us.
And YES you need a hobby. I've got some nursery items you can get to work on...

Alyssa said...

what did you have in mind for your nursery???

Sara K. said...

Taylor learned a song at girls' camp called "I'm a nut" It can be your new theme song, jerkwadface.

P.S. Did the kids arrive safely?

Alyssa said...

no kids have arrived here. Did you send them priority?? And also, the new song sounds PERFECT. I also am excited to teach the little ones "Eddiecootchacatchacamatosaneeratosanokasammakammawacky Brown". It will be fun times had by all. Hooray!

Anna@Exasperation said...

A crib bumper, crib skirt, curtains, and a quilt. Among other things.