Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Beauty and the Beast

Lately, we've been watching Beauty and the Beast a lot. And there are a few things I need to say.

First, in the beginning sequence the narrator tells us that there was this Prince who had everything he wanted, and he was spoiled and all that. He couldn't see the beauty in the haggard old lady, so she cursed him and gave him a rose that would wither away over time. If he didn't learn to love before the last petal fell, on his 21st birthday, he'd be a beast forever.

Later, in the song Be Our Guest, it makes reference to the fact that they've been in this enchanted state for 10 years.

Now, using my powers of deductive reasoning, my skill in extrapolation, my interest in inference, this tells me that when the prince was turned into a beast, he was 10 years old.

REALLY??? 10??? What ten year old isn't at least a little bit spoiled? And a prince, at that. A 10 year old prince will be spoiled. Do you know many ten year olds who, when approached by a strange, hunchbacked, hideous old woman, wouldn't at least give her a weird look?? I mean come on, those are pretty high expectations for a ten year old.

Also. He was ten. Where were his parents?? Even if you were far off traveling, don't you think you'd send communications every once in a while to check on your pre-teen son? Maybe they were dead or something, but wouldn't that then make the "Prince" the King instead?

ALSO. If he was a prince, how come nobody in the whole flipping country knew their prince had been turned into a beast FOR TEN YEARS??? Aren't royalty expected to make decisions, or at least public appearances? And nobody notices when the prince goes missing?? It's not like the royal staff could make appearances on his behalf, because they were turned into flippin' candlesticks, clocks, teapots and armoires... And even if the small villages didn't know about the prince, how did they all find the castle so easily, huh?

I mean, Belle's dad stumbled upon it, but then Phillipe (the horse) was able to take Belle right to the gates even though he wasn't actually there when the old man found the castle in the first place. And then, later, the angry mob was able to march straight to the castle, even though they'd never heard of the beast before, and even though Belle and her father, the only two people who supposedly knew about the castle, were locked in the cellar.

The pieces don't add up, people. They just don't add up.

6 comments:

Sara K. said...

Is it this kind of stuff that keeps you up at night? I'm good with the witty musical numbers and happily ever after. Perhaps I need to start watching the Disney/Pixar/Dreamworks flicks with a more critical eye :-)

dbsetter14 said...

Seriously...that's hilarious, and so true! I never really analyzed it like that, but you did a great job!!

Christy said...

I need to re watch that!LOL

Alyssa said...

Sara - no this doesn't keep me up at night! But I just really think that fictional animated 10-year-old characters shouldn't be held to such high standards or expectations. That's all:)

Anna@Exasperation said...

You are amazing. Flippin' sweet.

Kristin said...

Anna's blog led me here, and I absolutely agree. I've thought all these same things. Then throw in the other Beauty and the Beast movies after the fact that are supposed to happen during the time of this movie, and none of it makes sense.