Sunday, July 18, 2010

Progress

So, did I ever tell you guys about the Death Blow Kiss Killer? The bad guy in one of my few recurring nightmares?

Well, I think I'm totally making progress with life's issues or something, because recently (I can't remember if it was last night or the night before. I was sleeping, ya know) I FINALLY KILLED THE DEATH BLOW KISS KILLER!!!

I'm not entirely sure what this means, though. Does it mean that I'm finally going to act out on my years of death threats to various friends and loved ones? If so, who will it be? I've threatened to kill SOOOOOO many people over the years. And also, which method will it be? My latest weapon of choice has been the knife, as in "I'll cutcha!" or "I'll knife ya!". But who knows, maybe I'll go old school, and it will be a stoning, or a spicing. (Yes, I said spicing. Let's just say, it was inspired by an Indian film I saw in college. I think Jean was a little disappointed she picked THAT weekend to come see me.)

ORRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Maybe I won't actually be killing anyone. Maybe I'll just finally be able to carry out my heretofore idle threats of literally, and physically punching/slapping/kicking someone. Because heaven knows, there are several people in my life who would deserve a good roundhouse kick to the throat.

ORRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Maybe it just means that I'll stop putting up with people's crap, or maybe develop a thicker skin, or start standing up for myself instead of allowing myself to be walked upon. Because, although I've doubted it til now, maybe you CAN stick up for yourself without being guilty of assault and battery. WHO KNEW?

I guess it doesn't really matter. The most important thing is that THE DEATH BLOW KISS KILLER HAS DIED!!! I just hope it stays that way. 'Cause those were some freaky nightmares.

2 comments:

Deb said...

I can't wait to see you finally punch someone in the face, just so long as, you know, it's not me.

Recurring dreams are weird. For the last 30 years I've had a dream about big tar blobs oozing through the windows and air vents of our maroon Plymouth Volare trying to smother me. I always had this recurring nightmare the first night I slept in the cot at my grandma's house after driving to visit her in Florida (annually) and I still have it periodically at random times of stress and not stress.

I've never managed to kill the tar blobs, however. If the Death Blow Kiss Killer tries to come back to your dreams, kindly remind him you killed his scary rump last night or the night before.

Anna@Exasperation said...

Nice work! I can attest to the frustration of dreams where you're trying to get some random bad guy but your punches go all slow-motion and whatnot and you never really get him. At least that's how it is for me. So yay for you!
And my vote is for you to literally, physically punch/kick/slap someone. How good would THAT feel?