Um, all yous guyses who follow my blog can probably tell that I really hate to complain about things, and I hate to call other people out on their bad behavior, and I really hate to judge others. You noticed that, right? RIGHT? Oh wait...
So anyway, I really don't want to do that now, so just so you know, this post is completely hypothetical. I may or may not have neighbors who live across the street from me. And they may or may not lack a backyard, causing them to spend all their time in their front yard. And they may or may not blare their radio at all hours of the morning, afternoon and night. Their taste in music may or may not rock, but still, it may or may not be really annoying. They may or may not play the music so loudly that we can't even hear each other talk if we've got the screen on our storm door open. The lady neighbor may or may not take ALL of her phone calls on the front porch, and may or may not feel the need to scream into her phone. And her friends may or may not be hilarious, as she laughs like a hyena incessantly during said hypothetical calls. And she may or may not talk about very personal, uncomfortable, awkward things. These neighbors may or may not park their cars in front of ANYBODY'S house but their own, regardless of the fact that parking on our street may or may not be at a premium. They also may or may not set off fireworks at least once a month, on really special days like July 22, August 13, or September 9. And they may or may not sit back and watch as their dog comes over into our yard and poops/pees, and then leave it there for us to enjoy. And they may or may not engage in lawn care and gardening chores (also at all hours of morning, day, night) wearing inappropriately skimpy clothing. And they may or may not allow their middle school aged daughter to traipse around the neighborhood in REALLY inappropriately skimpy/nonexistent clothing. And they may or may not engage in RIDICULOUSLY inappropriate PDA on their front porch. Even though they may or may not be "hidden" behind a large fern-type plant, that doesn't really hide them. And they may or may not have woken Emma up from her sleep multiple times with their hypothetical shenanigans.
And I may or may not plant my foot firmly in someone's behind.
6 comments:
And I may or may not think you are one of the funniest human beings this side of Jerry Seinfeld.
That is all.
So what you're saying is that you may or may not hire said teenager to babysit?
I may or may not have laughed so hard when I read this that my colleagues may or may not have stopped by my office to see what was so funny.
What's so wrong about fireworks on August 13th??? I think that's probably one of THE most appropriate days for fireworks that I can think of.
Also too? I may or may not come join you when you plant your foot, because anyone who dares to awaken my sweet, adorable, crazy little non-sleeping EmmaBean may or may not be completely deserving of a double foot-planting. Or ten.
I may or may not have just peed my pants a little bit.
What is it with neighbors? I have three whose grass touches mine who are nothing shy of crazy people. Crazy. People. I'm telling you, life would be so much better for all involved if all of our neighbors could simply be me. Because I am not crazy. (may or may not have just twitched)
Well I may or may not have anything funny to say, because everyone else may or may not have already beaten the may or may not joke to death. And I may or may not have any frame of reference anymore for how funny or not funny something is or is not, because I may or may not have the ability to PMPAL when I GI anymore.
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