Why I can never go back to Iowa

So, we had a lovely vacation in Iowa. The weather was pretty rainy, but it cleared up enough for a couple visits to the splash pad, a trip to the pool, a day of golf for Mike and Jerry, and a baseball outing for the boys as well.

But I can never go back to Iowa, because if I do, I will once again have to deal with the cousin-withdrawal Emma has suffered through this week. She has been running around the house looking for other wee ones to drag around and pway wiff. She's been crying out for Gaby (GAH! GAH!) when mommy is being insufferably mean. She's been endlessly looking for those hiding cousins, and darnit, they hid too well this time! And Max... oh dear. Her stuffed puppies just won't do, anymore, now that she spent a full week with a REAL DOG. I've been a constant source of disappointment to her ALL WEEK, and I just can't handle that kind of blow to my self esteem.

Also, I can never go back to Iowa, because if I do, I will once again have to deal with a husband so disappointed in our dinner options, it's not even funny. I go through phases with my cooking. I have really tried to cook heartily and healthily, and to make the best use of seasonal items I can. I like to try new recipes, and new ingredients. But lately I have been in a SLUMP, mostly because Emma refuses to eat anything I make. It's kind of a downer, and has been discouraging me from making anything other than what I KNOW is a sure fire Emma pleaser. Which limits us to PB&J, chef boyardee mini raviolis, and homemade pizza pockets. Bah.

So, while in Iowa, Sara of course spoils us all to death with her ridiculously good cooking. Pork burritos, egg rolls, Iowa chops, tons of guacamole, homemade pizza, fresh berries out the whazoo, and cheesecake (she didn't make them but that's irrelevent). And it goes on.

And now Mike is just a shell of a man, as he sits down to my pathetic culinary attempts. And I just can't handle that kind of marital stress.

It was great, Iowa. But I don't think we'll ever see you again.

FAIL

Remember that one time I blogged about how I was "off the junk"? Ya know, how I had kicked my caffeine habit, and made that major life change?

Bahahaha.

Fail.

This is why I'm glad I gave myself the YEAR to do it. Of course, I'm not nearly as bad as I was. I wouldn't say I'm addicted like I was. Which is good. But I slipped back into drinking that dastardly Dr. Pepper probably once a week. We've decided to keep little to no soda in the house, so other than the random drink I pick up while out, I have been good about drinking less soda. So that's progress. And I really DO think I can be completely soda free by year's end. The weird thing is that I will go weeks without drinking any, and then the floodgates will just open for one reason or another and I'll be chugging the stuff. So I just need to fight off those situations (like while traveling, and when I have headaches!) and I think I can do it!

In other news, I BOUGHT NEW TYLENOL TODAY! I woke up this morning and felt like I'd been punched in the side of the head. Right in the ear, really. It was strange. Anyway, Mike was gone this morning golfing with Dad, so when he came home in the afternoon and could see I was hurting, he asked, "Did you take anything?"

Me: no
Mike: Why not?
Me: All we have are those cool caps, and they make me sick
Mike: Well, we'll have to go pick up some of the regular stuff
Me: No, then we'll just be wasting the cool caps.
Mike: But you're not taking the cool caps?
Me: Nope. Don't like 'em.
Mike: You're Stupid.

The man makes a good point. So, I went out and bought the rapid release pills, and am headache free:) WOOHOO!

What I don't want

You know when you have one of those headaches, where your whole body hurts, and it's kind of making you nauseas... don't you just really get the urge to drink a glass of liquid icy hot?

No? You don't?

Someone at Tylenol apparently does. Because that is EXACTLY what taking one of their "cool capsules" is like. It's like drinking liquid icy hot.

I had a horrible headache when I woke up Monday morning, and I was laying in bed listening to Emma and Mike play downstairs, and thought, DANG IT! I don't want to be miserable on this gorgeous holiday!! So I trudged over to the bathroom closet and whipped out the Tylenol, and threw back two capsules. And immediately regretted it. First I felt the cold on my tongue. Then it creeped down my throat and into my stomach. And it spread through my stomach. And then the burning started. If I was a little bit nauseas before, now I was full on puke-ready. I laid in bed, miserable, for another 20 minutes before the effects wore off. But was the headache gone? No. Not so much.

The headache plagued me all day. By bedtime, I was even more miserabler, so, with a COMPLETELY ABSENT MIND, I said, "hey, maybe I should take some Tylenol." And then I repeated the morning's process all over again. Stupid stupid stupid.

Pure misery. So, why did I buy these cool capsules in the first place? Purely on accident. What I THOUGHT I was buying was Tylenol Rapid Release, which I have found actually works REALLY well for me. And because of that mistaken identity, I bought one of those ENORMOUS bottles. And ya know what? I'm so cheap that I will probably use the entire bottle of cool capsules before I will break down and buy a bottle of the good stuff.

Bah.