I am about to vent. Feel free to disregard.
There are a lot of things going through my head right now. Over the last two years there have been a lot of negative experiences piling up, and they are just getting to me. For example, almost as soon as I had Emma, I learned that perfect strangers will feel completely comfortable giving me unsolicited advice, criticizing my actions or inaction, giving dirty looks or glares, making rude comments in that kind of whisper that is meant for you to hear, scolding my children, or PUTTING FOOD DIRECTLY INTO THEIR MOUTH. And the list goes on. I've just learned that there are crazies out there with no filter, no sense of proper social etiquette, no concern for the feelings of others. It was hard at first not to take these encounters personally. It was hard to realize that these people were making snap judgments based on minimal observation, and that they REALLY had no clue what they were talking about. But slowly, I've gotten better at letting those harsh encounters roll off my back. I still get upset sometimes, (like when a woman scolded me in the parking lot of Target for changing izzy, who'd had a blow out, in the back of my car instead of taking her inside where "they have stations for that...") but generally I'm able to take it for what it is.
But more recently, I've picked up on an undertone coming from people who aren't just strangers. People who I consider friends. People who know me, and know my kids, and know about our life. People who I thought would be understanding. The first part of this that bothers me is the "you're JUST a stay at home mom" attitude. I chose this path. My husband works very hard to make it possible. And I think I do important work. I don't like it when others minimize that.
The second part of this is the small little digs people make about my kids or my parenting. Emma is hyper and out of control sometimes. I know that. It is only exacerbated around large groups of kids/people. She is just so happy to be out and about, and she really has unbounded energy. She has gotten much better about controlling it, and about knowing how to behave, but for heaven's sake, she's 2! Isn't that part of what being 2 is about? Being wild and crazy and running and playing and jumping and singing and being all spunky and stuff? And yet, two different people made the comment to me that if their oldest was like Emma, they'd be an only child. Adding "haha" to the end of that statement does not make it any less insulting.
And Izzy. Poor Izzy. First the stomach problems, and now teething. She's having a hard time, and she cries. A lot. I'm sorry if it bothers you, but telling me to just "nurture more" because you "nurture" your baby and he hasn't had any problems with teething, well that's not really helpful. And obviously it means you think I don't nurture my kids! OF COURSE I DO!
Ugh. So stupid. I wish these types of comments were coming from people that I could just blow off. Or from people that I could just tell off. But these comments come from people that I never expected. And it hurts.
So I've just been asking myself why I let it get to me. And the honest answer is that its because I'm insecure. People aren't saying anything that I haven't already worried about in the back of my head. I worry about Emma. I worry about whether or not she'll be able to slow down and thrive in a school environment. I worry about Izzy, and if I'm doing enough to comfort her. But I know deep down that I am doing the best that I can. I know we all can't be perfect. And I don't expect perfection from myself. But goshdarnit I hate hate hate when others feel the need to put me down to elevate themselves. Worst of all, coming from my friends. And its just made me realize that a purge is necessary. No more room for haters.
Blahhhhhhhhh.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Saturday, July 30, 2011
BOMBARDO MAXIMA!
You are about to be bombarded. With pictures and videos. Of cuteness. Of Cuteness SO CUTE, that your ovaries will explode. If you do not possess ovaries, these pictures and videos will cause your body to spontaneously generate them, and THEN they will explode. You're Welcome.
Playing Peekaboo
Seriously, Izzy LOVES peekaboo
Her blankie was in the wash...
It's normal for kids to dress up like a lady bug on a typical saturday afternoon, Right?
Izzy loves a nice tubbyTuesday, July 19, 2011
Beauty and the Beast
Lately, we've been watching Beauty and the Beast a lot. And there are a few things I need to say.
First, in the beginning sequence the narrator tells us that there was this Prince who had everything he wanted, and he was spoiled and all that. He couldn't see the beauty in the haggard old lady, so she cursed him and gave him a rose that would wither away over time. If he didn't learn to love before the last petal fell, on his 21st birthday, he'd be a beast forever.
Later, in the song Be Our Guest, it makes reference to the fact that they've been in this enchanted state for 10 years.
Now, using my powers of deductive reasoning, my skill in extrapolation, my interest in inference, this tells me that when the prince was turned into a beast, he was 10 years old.
REALLY??? 10??? What ten year old isn't at least a little bit spoiled? And a prince, at that. A 10 year old prince will be spoiled. Do you know many ten year olds who, when approached by a strange, hunchbacked, hideous old woman, wouldn't at least give her a weird look?? I mean come on, those are pretty high expectations for a ten year old.
Also. He was ten. Where were his parents?? Even if you were far off traveling, don't you think you'd send communications every once in a while to check on your pre-teen son? Maybe they were dead or something, but wouldn't that then make the "Prince" the King instead?
ALSO. If he was a prince, how come nobody in the whole flipping country knew their prince had been turned into a beast FOR TEN YEARS??? Aren't royalty expected to make decisions, or at least public appearances? And nobody notices when the prince goes missing?? It's not like the royal staff could make appearances on his behalf, because they were turned into flippin' candlesticks, clocks, teapots and armoires... And even if the small villages didn't know about the prince, how did they all find the castle so easily, huh?
I mean, Belle's dad stumbled upon it, but then Phillipe (the horse) was able to take Belle right to the gates even though he wasn't actually there when the old man found the castle in the first place. And then, later, the angry mob was able to march straight to the castle, even though they'd never heard of the beast before, and even though Belle and her father, the only two people who supposedly knew about the castle, were locked in the cellar.
The pieces don't add up, people. They just don't add up.
First, in the beginning sequence the narrator tells us that there was this Prince who had everything he wanted, and he was spoiled and all that. He couldn't see the beauty in the haggard old lady, so she cursed him and gave him a rose that would wither away over time. If he didn't learn to love before the last petal fell, on his 21st birthday, he'd be a beast forever.
Later, in the song Be Our Guest, it makes reference to the fact that they've been in this enchanted state for 10 years.
Now, using my powers of deductive reasoning, my skill in extrapolation, my interest in inference, this tells me that when the prince was turned into a beast, he was 10 years old.
REALLY??? 10??? What ten year old isn't at least a little bit spoiled? And a prince, at that. A 10 year old prince will be spoiled. Do you know many ten year olds who, when approached by a strange, hunchbacked, hideous old woman, wouldn't at least give her a weird look?? I mean come on, those are pretty high expectations for a ten year old.
Also. He was ten. Where were his parents?? Even if you were far off traveling, don't you think you'd send communications every once in a while to check on your pre-teen son? Maybe they were dead or something, but wouldn't that then make the "Prince" the King instead?
ALSO. If he was a prince, how come nobody in the whole flipping country knew their prince had been turned into a beast FOR TEN YEARS??? Aren't royalty expected to make decisions, or at least public appearances? And nobody notices when the prince goes missing?? It's not like the royal staff could make appearances on his behalf, because they were turned into flippin' candlesticks, clocks, teapots and armoires... And even if the small villages didn't know about the prince, how did they all find the castle so easily, huh?
I mean, Belle's dad stumbled upon it, but then Phillipe (the horse) was able to take Belle right to the gates even though he wasn't actually there when the old man found the castle in the first place. And then, later, the angry mob was able to march straight to the castle, even though they'd never heard of the beast before, and even though Belle and her father, the only two people who supposedly knew about the castle, were locked in the cellar.
The pieces don't add up, people. They just don't add up.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Warrior Dash
Muddy
Bird, Also too muddy
This was the "shower". A fire truck with hoses.A much belated post on the warrior dash...
So. Bird and I ran a Warrior Dash! It was just over a month ago, and it was awesome. We had to drive out to the middle of nowhere, because the races generally take place in the middles of nowheres. It was a fun drive, and included Bird needing to pee, so she got out of the drivers seat and I got in, she ran back to a restaurant, and was forced to buy a gatorade to be able to use the restroom, and then she ran back to the car, which had only moved about 400 yards while she was gone. That was fun.
Also, the parking lot was a mud pit, and it was questionable if my little Civic was going to make it out alive. But it did. As did Bird and I.
Ok, so the race. It was awesome. Started out with roaring flames carrying us into the wooded path where the race took place. We had to crawl through a dark maze, climb over 5' walls, crawl under barbed wire, run through knee deep mud, cut through a lake, more mud, climb over a 20' wall, climb over a 15' cargo net, run over 5 or 6 junkyard cars, run through tires, crawl through tunnels, jump over flames, and crawl under another 20 yards of barbed wire, in the mud, to get to the finish line.
You know, easy peasy.
It was really intense. After just the first few obstacles, I kind of thought I was toast, and was questioning whether or not I'd even be able to finish. But that's always my problem with running. Once I get past the three mile mark, I can run and run forever, I just hit my stride, catch my breath, and my legs just go on autopilot. So, when I'm running a race that's only 3.5 miles, and adds in the obstacles... well let's just say I never really felt like I hit my stride. The mud is really what held me back. Trail running isn't my forte, and it had rained heavily the whole week prior to the race, so even the parts that weren't "mud pits" were pretty much covered in a thick layer of slime that made it difficult to get my footing.
But anyway, long story short, it was hard. But MAN OH MAN was it fun! I really enjoy pushing myself, and this was great. I had a goal of finishing in under an hour, but I had no idea if that was realistic in terms of the course, or just how much the obstacles would slow me down. In the end, I finished in 48 minutes and some odd seconds. But what I'm most proud of is that I finished 76th out of almost 800 women in my age group. Booyah:)
So. Bird and I ran a Warrior Dash! It was just over a month ago, and it was awesome. We had to drive out to the middle of nowhere, because the races generally take place in the middles of nowheres. It was a fun drive, and included Bird needing to pee, so she got out of the drivers seat and I got in, she ran back to a restaurant, and was forced to buy a gatorade to be able to use the restroom, and then she ran back to the car, which had only moved about 400 yards while she was gone. That was fun.
Also, the parking lot was a mud pit, and it was questionable if my little Civic was going to make it out alive. But it did. As did Bird and I.
Ok, so the race. It was awesome. Started out with roaring flames carrying us into the wooded path where the race took place. We had to crawl through a dark maze, climb over 5' walls, crawl under barbed wire, run through knee deep mud, cut through a lake, more mud, climb over a 20' wall, climb over a 15' cargo net, run over 5 or 6 junkyard cars, run through tires, crawl through tunnels, jump over flames, and crawl under another 20 yards of barbed wire, in the mud, to get to the finish line.
You know, easy peasy.
It was really intense. After just the first few obstacles, I kind of thought I was toast, and was questioning whether or not I'd even be able to finish. But that's always my problem with running. Once I get past the three mile mark, I can run and run forever, I just hit my stride, catch my breath, and my legs just go on autopilot. So, when I'm running a race that's only 3.5 miles, and adds in the obstacles... well let's just say I never really felt like I hit my stride. The mud is really what held me back. Trail running isn't my forte, and it had rained heavily the whole week prior to the race, so even the parts that weren't "mud pits" were pretty much covered in a thick layer of slime that made it difficult to get my footing.
But anyway, long story short, it was hard. But MAN OH MAN was it fun! I really enjoy pushing myself, and this was great. I had a goal of finishing in under an hour, but I had no idea if that was realistic in terms of the course, or just how much the obstacles would slow me down. In the end, I finished in 48 minutes and some odd seconds. But what I'm most proud of is that I finished 76th out of almost 800 women in my age group. Booyah:)
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
And it keeps coming...
Figured I'd update on Izzy so you're not all wondering... she is doing MUCH better. I feel a sick sense of dread having just typed that. The JINX is probably on its way to my house right now...
ANYWAY. She is doing better. Once she was able to start on solids, it made the formula problem less pressing. We are sort of doing a formula shuffle, so she isn't taking so much of one kind that it affects her too badly. Kind of annoying, but its workable. And the solids, well that means less dependence on formula, and so far her stomach is handling it pretty well.
Emma is still a handful. Her communication skills continue to improve, and she says some really funny things. She quotes movies, reenacts scenes and everything. Today she had her stuffed animals, using different voices, reenact the scene from Despicable Me where Gru is trying to get the girls to skip dance class to deliver cookies to Vector. It was so funny listening to her. She is also doing really well with the whole being potty trained thing. She still sometimes has accidents at night, but its few and far between. And I can only think of one occassion that she's had a daytime accident. So, you know, the JINX is coming on that account, too, I bet.
As far as the rest of life goes, things are pretty good. I can't seem to get healthy for more than a few weeks at a time. This time its been a round of horrible, horrible ear infections. And now, after injections and ear drops and oral antibiotics, it's coming back. Pretty frustrating. But I guess if that's the worst of my problems, I can't complain. (Ok, we all know I CAN complain, but I shouldn't).
Think that's about it.
ANYWAY. She is doing better. Once she was able to start on solids, it made the formula problem less pressing. We are sort of doing a formula shuffle, so she isn't taking so much of one kind that it affects her too badly. Kind of annoying, but its workable. And the solids, well that means less dependence on formula, and so far her stomach is handling it pretty well.
Emma is still a handful. Her communication skills continue to improve, and she says some really funny things. She quotes movies, reenacts scenes and everything. Today she had her stuffed animals, using different voices, reenact the scene from Despicable Me where Gru is trying to get the girls to skip dance class to deliver cookies to Vector. It was so funny listening to her. She is also doing really well with the whole being potty trained thing. She still sometimes has accidents at night, but its few and far between. And I can only think of one occassion that she's had a daytime accident. So, you know, the JINX is coming on that account, too, I bet.
As far as the rest of life goes, things are pretty good. I can't seem to get healthy for more than a few weeks at a time. This time its been a round of horrible, horrible ear infections. And now, after injections and ear drops and oral antibiotics, it's coming back. Pretty frustrating. But I guess if that's the worst of my problems, I can't complain. (Ok, we all know I CAN complain, but I shouldn't).
Think that's about it.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Picture Happy
I got a little picture happy at the end of this post. Apologies to you picture haters, but my kids are friggen cute, so deal with it.
Anyway, life here is swell. Super hot and humid, but such is June in PA. We have actually been crazy busy keeping up with the kids and keeping them entertained. Which is good, but also tiring. Izzy is doing better, although she still likes to throw us for a loop every now and then. She's got her front two bottom teeth now, so I'm feeling slightly relieved that she's on the bottle already. I really don't have much else to post, but Mike and I are taking a little weekend getaway to DC in a couple weeks, so I'll have something of interest to talk about then. Because I know you really don't want to hear about my playdates and potty training and all that encompasses my life right now. Frankly, I don't even want to hear about it. So just ooooh and aaaah over my pictures and call it a post...
Emma eyeing up a turtle
Mike has been waiting approximately 2.5 years to do this. Emma finally obliged.
Izzy being all sad and stuff
Izzy and her tubby faux-hawk
Emma buried Izzy in pillow cushions and they both thought it was the most hilarious thing that ever happened in the history of the universe
Emma reading to Izzy
Sister Love
Emma may or may not find great joy in being a cookie monster
And Izzy may or may not find great joy in playing in her exersaucer
This is Izzy's natural hair. Several people have asked if I style it that way. The answer is no, it styles itself.
Anyone remember Bird doing this for a while? Like...years???
More Sister Love
Anyway, life here is swell. Super hot and humid, but such is June in PA. We have actually been crazy busy keeping up with the kids and keeping them entertained. Which is good, but also tiring. Izzy is doing better, although she still likes to throw us for a loop every now and then. She's got her front two bottom teeth now, so I'm feeling slightly relieved that she's on the bottle already. I really don't have much else to post, but Mike and I are taking a little weekend getaway to DC in a couple weeks, so I'll have something of interest to talk about then. Because I know you really don't want to hear about my playdates and potty training and all that encompasses my life right now. Frankly, I don't even want to hear about it. So just ooooh and aaaah over my pictures and call it a post...
Emma eyeing up a turtle
Mike has been waiting approximately 2.5 years to do this. Emma finally obliged.
Izzy being all sad and stuff
Izzy and her tubby faux-hawk
Emma buried Izzy in pillow cushions and they both thought it was the most hilarious thing that ever happened in the history of the universe
Emma reading to Izzy
Sister Love
Emma may or may not find great joy in being a cookie monster
And Izzy may or may not find great joy in playing in her exersaucer
This is Izzy's natural hair. Several people have asked if I style it that way. The answer is no, it styles itself.
Anyone remember Bird doing this for a while? Like...years???
More Sister LoveSaturday, May 21, 2011
Today
Had our first yard sale today. It wasn't so shabby. Learned a lot about hardcore yardsale shoppers. Had an interesting conversation with a man who said he really didn't need to pay the ticketed price on a jacket, because after all it was a woman's jacket and HE was in fact, A MAN. Today was also the first day that Emma was really outside since she started potty training. That didn't go so well, but I'm 100% positive that it's because she was getting REALLY annoyed with us for asking, "Emma are you clean and dry?" and "Emma, you'll tell mommy and daddy if you need to pee or poop, right?", every 27 seconds. In the end, she had an accident, but it was during a tantrum that was more or less brought on by the fact that I was sort of trying to force her to go to the potty. (ie, oh, you want to walk up to the park? Well, we can't walk up to the park until you go potty, because there aren't any potties at the park! You don't want to go potty? Well sorry, no park then!) So, lesson learned. Otherwise, PT has had its ups and downs, but she is doing generally well, knock on wood.
Other stuff, other stuff....
Hmmmm...
I really don't know what else to say. Just felt the need to put something out there, because if I keep having these longs breaks I'm just never gonna come back to blogging. It feels too overwhelming to come back and post after a long break. SARA KILGORE, NOW I KNOW YOUR PAIN. But anyway, I know the world needs me, and my 3 devoted readers would be lost without the sage words found in this blog. (HA! Get it? SAGE words? Bahahahahaha I kill myself!)
Oh there's this other thing that I've been wanting to mention for a while...
I don't know if I ever blogged about it when it happened, but when I was about 37 weeks pregnant I got really severe inner and outer ear infections in both ears. I was essentially deaf, my ears were so swollen I couldn't chew, and I had to sleep sitting straight up (too pregnant to lay on my back, and too painful to lay on my sides). At this time, I went to the doctor and he was all concerned about what he could give me since I was pregnant. One of the things he prescribed was this really old school ear drop. After the first day of using it, my ears hurt so much worse. Called the doctor, said it was common for things to get worse before it got better. Dang. Two more days, I was literally crying in pain every time these drops went in. Got an appointment with another doctor. He gasped when he saw my ears. This acid based drop basically seared the inside of my ears. The flesh was literally burning away every time I put these drops in. And I did it 4 times a day for 3 days. I'm no genius, but that's 12 times.
ANYWAY. What I'm getting at, is that this happened just over 7 months ago. And ever since then, my ears have not produced earwax. Not one tiny little speck of earwax. For 7 months. What's up with that? I'll be honest, it makes my obsession with Q-tips somewhat less satisfying.
Other stuff, other stuff....
Hmmmm...
I really don't know what else to say. Just felt the need to put something out there, because if I keep having these longs breaks I'm just never gonna come back to blogging. It feels too overwhelming to come back and post after a long break. SARA KILGORE, NOW I KNOW YOUR PAIN. But anyway, I know the world needs me, and my 3 devoted readers would be lost without the sage words found in this blog. (HA! Get it? SAGE words? Bahahahahaha I kill myself!)
Oh there's this other thing that I've been wanting to mention for a while...
I don't know if I ever blogged about it when it happened, but when I was about 37 weeks pregnant I got really severe inner and outer ear infections in both ears. I was essentially deaf, my ears were so swollen I couldn't chew, and I had to sleep sitting straight up (too pregnant to lay on my back, and too painful to lay on my sides). At this time, I went to the doctor and he was all concerned about what he could give me since I was pregnant. One of the things he prescribed was this really old school ear drop. After the first day of using it, my ears hurt so much worse. Called the doctor, said it was common for things to get worse before it got better. Dang. Two more days, I was literally crying in pain every time these drops went in. Got an appointment with another doctor. He gasped when he saw my ears. This acid based drop basically seared the inside of my ears. The flesh was literally burning away every time I put these drops in. And I did it 4 times a day for 3 days. I'm no genius, but that's 12 times.
ANYWAY. What I'm getting at, is that this happened just over 7 months ago. And ever since then, my ears have not produced earwax. Not one tiny little speck of earwax. For 7 months. What's up with that? I'll be honest, it makes my obsession with Q-tips somewhat less satisfying.
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